teh bonking
by rhymeless
Summary: Satirical stories about the nonyaoi, yaoi, Mary Sue, and poetry fans in the Mega Man section.
1. THE LEGEND OF FORTE X!

Bass was walking down the street when he saw Roll and he fell in love because she was really pretty She had long blonde hair and blue eyes and she had a red dress on bass went to her and said  
  
bass: hey  
Roll: Hi  
Bass: I love you  
Megaman comes up  
Megaman: no Bass you can't She's my sister  
Roll: Don't Mega Man  
Megaman tries to shoot Bass but Bass shoots him first and Roll starts crying  
Roll: You killed my brother  
Bass: I'm sorry  
Roll: ok  
bass: i love you  
Roll: ya  
  
and then they got married and had a boy named FORTE X who grew up to be the strongest person in the universe but he was so strong Roll knew he would be in trouble so she put him in a capsule just like X's  
  
Roll: oh I wish I didn't have to  
Forte X: Fuck you  
Roll: bye  
  
Then in 21XX  
  
X: i'm bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Zero: so am I lets go kill sumthing  
X: ok  
  
suddenly Vile attacks them  
  
Vile: I'm gonna kill you today X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  
  
but then forte x wakes up and sees whats happening and he gets mad. He goes super-saiyan and kills Vile in 1 hit!!!!!  
  
X: wow that was amazing  
zero: no he might be a maverick  
Forte X starts doing karate moves and he kicks Zero and zero is blown apart!!!!!!!!!!  
zero: wtf  
X: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
X shoots Forte X and he dies  
  
THE END  
  
dedicated 2 all teh ppl who helpd me leanr that yaio is BAD!!!!!!! lmao know I hate yaio!!!!!!!!!!!! _ 


	2. aOi hANa

One day, Forte was thinking. This in itself was a very rare occurance. He was thinking about his enemy, Rock. Or more accurately, he was thinking about how he felt about his enemy, Rock.  
  
Normally, when he thought about his enemy, Rock, he felt an insatiable desire to start blowing things up and pretend it was him. Now, for some odd reason, he wanted to fuck his brains out.  
  
"Kuso," he thought to himself. "I'm trapped in a bad yaoi fanfiction!"  
  
Then he decided he didn't care anymore, and went to confess his undying love to Rock.  
  
***ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD****  
  
A monkey ate a bug.  
  
**************ELSEWHERE**************  
  
Rock sat with his chin in his hands. He was thinking.  
  
//Watashi wa aisu kuriimu ga daisuki desu!// he decided.  
  
Suddenly, the door burst open, and Forte ran in.  
  
The author decided she was tired of writing prose and wrote in script format, ROFL!!!!!!! XDDDDDDD  
  
Forte: Rokku!  
He runs up and hugs him.  
Rock: Nani?  
Forte: I have something to tell you.  
Rock: We're trapped in a bad yaoi fanfiction, ne?  
Forte: Iie, besides that! I... just discovered that I really love you, even though throughout all of the games and mangas I want to kill you and string your entrails around Skull Fortress! Aishiteru, Rock!  
Rock: You baka! I thought you'd never say so! Aishiteru, Tsuyomi!  
  
Then Forte put his throbbing lovestick into Rock's delicate virgin entrance and exploded in a shower of cherry blossoms and white-hot passion.  
  
~~~~OWARI~~~~  
  
*************************************  
  
Eee!! How was that?!! Forte and Rock are just SOOOOO KAWAII together! ^o^ Okay, now I have some author's notes!!  
  
1. Forte is soooo KAWAII when he's thinking!! Wasn't that so funny, those first lines?! LOLOL!!!  
2. The monkey ate a bug was from a movie I saw!! I thought it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KAWAIII!!  
3. LOL!!! Get it?! Rock likes Ice cream! Aaaah! He's so kawaii!!  
4. LMAO, I was soooo bored when I wrote this! I'm so KRAZY aren't I? XDDDD  
5. Shimatta!! I made a lot of mistakes! And it's so short! :(( Oh well, I hope you ppl like it!! XDDDD  
  
~*~*~*~*~GLOSSARY~*~*~*~*~  
  
1. Yaoi - Two boys in love!  
2. Kuso - Sh*t!  
3. Watashi wa aisu kuriimu ga daisuki desu - I like ice cream  
4. Nani? - What?  
5. Ne? - Right?  
6. Iie - No  
7. Aishiteru - I love you  
8. Baka - Idiot  
9. Tsuyomi - Forte  
10. Owari - End  
11. Kawaii - Cute  
12. Shimatta - D*mmit!  
  
*********REVIEW, ONEGAI! THNX!!! 


	3. the melancholy teardrop of mary sue

ROCKMAN X: THE MELANCHOLY TEARDROP OF MARY SUE  
  
Zero Omega sighed to himself as he ran fingers through his long golden hair which shone like the sun. He was so bored, and he didn't feel like doing any paperwork (which for some reason completely filled his room to the point where he couldn't get in any more.) He decided to go down to the sparring grounds to beat up some rookies.  
  
He walked down there, and suddenly he saw her. The love of his life.  
  
She was beautiful. She had long violet hair that came down to her feet, and lavender eyes that sparkled like something lavender that sparkled a lot. She had a perfect, beautiful body and huge, angel-like wings on her back. Her skin was pale and fair, without a single blemish, and her hair soft like silk. When she smiled, it was like all the angels in Heaven had suddenly taken a day off and left her in charge. Or something profound like that.   
  
Zero knew he loved her at first sight. He went up to her, somewhat shyly. "Hi," was all he could utter.  
  
She smiled. "Hello. Who are you?" she asked.  
  
"My name is Zero Omega," he responded.  
  
"Not *the* Zero Omega!" she gasped. "Wow, it's such an honor to meet you."  
  
"And your name is?" he queried.  
  
"Mary Sue..." she told him. The way she said it sounded like a thousand bright lights dancing upon the brilliant blue waves of the ocean (nevermind that the ocean is actually not blue.)  
  
"Would you like to spar?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, I'd love to," she replied.  
  
They went down to the sparring grounds, and Zero drew his saber. "I'll go easy on you," he informed her. She just smiled secretively. He was confused, but shrugged it off and went to hit her.  
  
Suddenly, she was behind him, and she was so fast and strong! Much stronger than even him. He was shocked. It didn't take long for the battle to end, and she was the winner. (A/N: I haaaaate fighting scenes!)  
  
Mary Sue smiled, her brilliant white teeth flashing in the light, as her violet hair flowed over her shoulder in an excessively standoffish manner. Her bright lavender eyes were intelligent, withdrawn, but also powerful. She held out her hand and helped Zero Omega up.  
  
"Don't feel bad, Z-chan," she grinned, eyes dancing (about her skull before meekly settling back in their sockets.) "It happens a lot."  
  
"I can't believe he was beaten by a girl," X laughed.  
  
Mary Sue's eyes flashed.  
  
"Uh oh," Zero gasped, backing away.  
  
Mary Sue's eyes turned red as she balled her perfect hands into perfect fists. The rage was apparent on her beautiful face, twisting it into a fearsome demon that made everyone in the room cringe and cower away, as she glowed with an ethereal aura. "A GIRL?!" she yelled.  
  
"Yeah, a girl," X sneered.  
  
Recalling her armor, which was exactly like Zero's (only black and purple), she pulled out her beam saber and cut X into a thousand pieces! Everyone watched in amazement as she continued to beat the cr@p out of him!  
  
"No!" Zero called. "Mary Sue, please stop!"  
  
She sighed. "Okay," she muttered finally.  
  
Zero smiled. She smiled back. Suddenly, he kissed her, his hand moving down her back, and she clung to him. He led her back to his quarters and gently laid her down on the bed. He tried to take his armor off, but for some reason, only his helmet came off.  
  
"Darn," he exclaimed. "I can't get this stupid crotch armor off."  
  
Mary Sue was so sad, she killed herself. Everyone mourned her, except X (A/N: god, I HATE him! He's so annoying and sounds like a girl!). They were all so sad, but especially Zero.  
  
One day, he finally decided to end his suffering. "I'm coming to join you, my love," he cried. As he jumped off the cliff next to the Hunter HQ that hadn't been there before, everyone could hear him screaming her name. "MARY SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE!!"  
  
THE END. 


	4. of robots and poetry

Rock's ass sparkles  
like the water on a clear, sunny day  
oh, how i wish i could touch it  
but we are enemies  
why won't he know that i love him?  
  
for so long i hid my feelings from you  
i pretended to hate you  
for my love was forbidden  
but the truth i cannot say to you  
you would not understand  
  
i love you with the depth of my soul  
my love is pure, like little kittens  
right before i kick them into gutters  
i love you like the clouds love the sky  
kissing it gently  
like a man about to fuck his girlfriend in an alley  
  
oh rock, if only i could show my feelings to you  
my love i must hide  
and so you think i hate you  
i cannot live without you  
although i've been doing fine before  
i must let you know the truth...  
  
you still owe me five bucks  
  
-"ode to assage" 


	5. best christmas carol EVAR!

Dashing through the halls   
Of Wily's Skull Fortress  
Trying not to die,  
Hey, why's Blues in a dress? (Ha ha ha!)  
  
Guns and war cries ring,  
Making spirits bright,  
What fun it is to fight and kill  
And sing this song tonight!  
  
Oh, jingle bells, Forte smells  
Metal's a pothead!  
Magnet ploys, and Ring annoys,  
And then there's that guy Zed, hey!  
  
Jingle bells, Elec tells  
Of how he wants to die!  
baby*Metal meeps, and Quickman sleeps,  
Turbo forgot to zip his fly! 


End file.
